Her Diary...

I have this weird inclination towards solitude…just the idea of being alone in a given space and time soothes my weary senses in a very odd way. My loneliness has always proven to be this unique magical balm that massages away all my pain and sadness. Not to forget, its an impossibly dawdling process…

I call it weird and odd because I miss it when I am surrounded by people. You might see me burning the dance floor complementing my echoing laughter with my swaying body…hugging and kissing people around me…but even in that crowded moment am I longing for loneliness…craving for a place where all I can see, hear and feel is me, me and just me…

I wonder what to call it- is it an extreme obsession with myself? Maybe. My earliest memories remind me of my passionate will of pampering my mind, body and soul. Count me among those crazy individuals who when told ‘ I love you’ return the words by saying ‘ I love me too’…I like that feel of being alone because it helps me attend myself with the kind of attention that would be absent in the presence of others around me.

Or maybe, my ascending love for solitude is because of my ever-increasing realization that I have lost myself…All this hustle and bustle and worldly commotion have coerced a fake mask on me…it took me a while to realize, but now I am aware. Perhaps that loneliness helps me to keep digging deep into myself. Who knows, maybe that ‘original me’ still has some traces left within me…maybe its pining to be discovered as much as I am pining to discover it…